Especially for people who have a close connection with Autism.
I was fully diagnosed with autism on the 18th of December 2018 at 18 years of age. This result was a long time coming as I always knew there was something different about me from other people I knew. This happened at a somewhat late stage in my life as I was considered to be assessed when I was a child but the system thought otherwise. Certain children will show signs of autism at an early age which I also showed that people may have noticed but not have thought to connect with autism.
Early Signs
Anxiety/Fear:
I have experienced Anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was very young I used to worry about anything and everything, the slightest thing could get me worrying. I mainly worried about something happening to myself or mainly others and could just break down crying at any time.
Speech:
This was a problem for me for many years as I didn't properly develop my speech until I was around 7. During this time, I would get very frustrated as I couldn't communicate properly and people couldn't understand what I was trying to say. As a result, I went to speech therapy when I was 5 until I was 12
Separation From Mum:
I had severe separation anxiety as I couldn't stand being away from my Mum and it really showed. I used to hide behind the toilet in playschool and cry as I waited for my Mum to come back and collect me.
Autism Today
Obsessions:
Thomas the tank engine. That is pretty much all I need to say about obsessions in my childhood. This was the case from when I was a baby until I first bought Lego. Lego worked into Lego Harry Potter which worked into Harry Potter in general. Harry Potter is my on/off obsession at the moment where I am listening to the audio-books and collecting merchandise like anything Hufflepuff related (I'm a Hufflepuff).
Eating/Diet:
My sense of taste is probably the biggest red flag from the autism as I still don't to this day eat a huge variety of foods. You name it I don't eat it, I don't eat any fruit or veg as I hate the crunch and juice of an apple or how a carrot would turn to mush in my mouth. Today my dinner consists basically of chicken goujons done in the oven to make the best out of a bad situation.
Emotional Background:
Along with anxiety and fear, I have also experienced depression and OCD. Depression is hard for me to record but would have first occurred in primary school as a result of OCD which would have occurred from the age of 10. OCD has been a big part of my life however what I would say to people who suffer from any mental health issue is that it may be a part of your life but does NOT have to be your life.
Little things:
I'm just going to fly through these, Eye contact is something I would avoid along with making conversation with unfamiliar people. I imagine scenarios to music I am listening to and sometimes I can be seen staring off into space (especially outside the kitchen window) just thinking about anything, thinking is my drug so that's all I'm addicted to so that's good. Also, while I'm in the kitchen, sometimes I will just walk laps around the island countertop just to ease my mind.
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| Just a Hufflepuff doing Hufflepuffy things |
Getting the Test
The process of being tested for Autism started in the summer of 2018. To be honest I don't remember this period very well as I was battling severe mental health issues at the time but I remember just going to another appointment with C.A.H.M.S. The lady who I did the test with asked me a number of questions and gave me a few different tests like puzzles to complete. When we were finished we were given no next appointment (which thinking about it now is a bit strange) and were told they would be in contact with us.
Since I was turning 18 at the end of August, C.A.H.M.S would have to finish the assessment by then otherwise it would have to be completed by the adult mental health services. This was a worry as it would mean it would not be done in time to apply for any resources to help me in college. In short, I was never called back in relation to the assessment and C.H.A.M.S didn't finish the test in the remaining months.
Actually being tested
Thankfully when I was called into the Adult Mental Health Services I was called back in October. The man who did the assessment was a nice genuine man who I really connected with. I had 6 appointments where I had to finish puzzles and was asked many questions. I was called back one last time on the 18th of December 2018 where after a little bit of confusion about understanding what the result was, It was then made clear that I was on the Autism spectrum.
Life today
It was somewhat of a relief to get the diagnoses as it, to me, was a kind of closure and explained a lot about my life that I didn't understand. People say that someone with Autism should say "I have Autism", not "I am Autistic" for the reason it's something you have not something you are. But when so many people think that it's something that can be "cured", I think it's important to say that I am Autistic because I think it is part of who I am and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
