Twas the night before 2020

Especially for those who have had a hard 2020

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the town,

Not a soul to be seen, not a sound from around,

A global pandemic had put life on halt,

While the whole World was bickering as to who was at fault,

It is true 2020 has been a year like no other,

And it just kept on going, further and further,

For who could forget about everything gone,

And remembering all those who have sadly passed on,

"Black Lives Matter" was powerfully quoted,

And who could forget that Covid was noted,

Elderly, the students and all who were affected,

Just having to do as what was directed,

But wait, hold on! There was more than just sorrow, 

For there are some heroes who deserve a good "Bravo",

We mustn't forget about those we need thank,

Shopkeepers, Cleaners, Nurses of all ranks,

For in the Leen House especially I'll give an example,

We created more memories, for that we're thankful, 

With our new puppy Cooper, one dog became two,

But who could anticipate just how much he'd chew,

But if this does not help just remember the past,

Remember the things to Santa we've asked,

To wake Christmas morning as to what we may find,

While Thomas the Tank Engine is coming to mind,

But do you not see? this child is you and is me,

As we would awake Christmas morning together with glee,

Sure times are different, we're not all together,

But we can recall happy memories now and forever,

And all over Ireland, we've gained so much more,

A sense of community, togetherness for sure,

But if the futures uncertain, we'll hope it is bright,

So for now I'll just say,

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

"Wishing you all a safe Merry Christmas and hoping all the best for 2021"

-Trev

Coming Out (Pride Month)

Especially for those LGBTQ Members for Pride Month

Coming out of the closet is a difficult step for any LGBTQ person, coming to terms with who you are can be a very frightening experience. For Pride Month this year, I decided to write my Coming Out experience including the denial, what drove me to come out, and of course, Coming Out.

Early Signs

I was always a child who didn't fit in well with others and found it hard to make friends. I grew up with OCD and intrusive thoughts with many illogical fears like the end of the world or going to hell. When I was 13 I came across Gay YouTubers and would watch them regularly in secret but surprisingly it never entered my mind that I was Gay.

Denial and Hiding

One day in 2014, my OCD thoughts of hell got so bad I got my first ever panic attack. I then thought I had upset God and decided to disconnect from anything Gay-related and suppressed my feelings, however, this was only a small thing compared to what I was going through at the time.

My OCD thoughts improved over time but I never felt I could show my true self for fear of going to hell. I remember some days just thinking to myself "God please give me a sign that it's okay to be Gay". I was so afraid of Hell that I even hoped that my family would vote against the same-sex marriage vote in 2015 in case they would go to Hell.

February 16th, 2019

One day I was going on a night out with some friends and thought to myself "If I get drunk and look at some gay-related videos on YouTube, then that's not my fault" so I went out that night with the hopes of getting drunk enough to watch these videos. 

Since the gay thoughts were in my head already I began to do things that made me look gay as fun like saying that guy looks cute and stuff like that. My friend picked up on this and asked me if was I gay, at first I said no but when she asked again later I said I thought I was Bisexual. (I only said I was Bi because I was in denial and was afraid to say I was Gay)

I then told my friend I didn't think it was something I'd embrace and would just keep it to myself, which she wasn't on board with but didn't want to push me.

The night I came out for the first time

Acceptance

For the next week, I was very confused, I went on to social media to look at people coming out stories and decided to ask a few LGBTQ accounts on Instagram about their thoughts on religion and being gay. After hearing things from a different point of view I began to see that it was actually ok to be who I am.

Once I finally accepted who I was, I felt a wave of happiness I had never felt or experienced before, and although I still couldn't bring myself to say the words "I'm gay" that was ok because I was taking baby steps. However, I now faced a new obstacle in my way and that was Coming Out itself.

Coming Out

Slowly over time, I began to come out to more people in my own way. I felt more comfortable Coming Out to my friends first then to my family. Thankfully, all were accepting of me and I faced no real issues. In fact, the only problem anyone had was my parents in that they were a bit upset to be the last to find out but sure what can you do?  

Its been over a year since I first came out, I am 19 now and out as gay to all my friends and family. Being gay has had its ups and downs but it's been an adventure in itself. I am so grateful I can actually live my life as who I am and experience what it's like in the community.

I also want to thank my friend who asked me the bold question "Was I Gay" that night back in February 2019 and for helping me for the longest time after Coming Out. Without her, I very probably still be in the closet to this day.

Advice

If you're thinking about Coming Out but like me are afraid of the religious side of it just remember you were born the way you are and God wouldn't want you to live as anything else but yourself. There are many great online resources out there to help you come out to family and friends from Instagram pages to official organisations.

Being an LGBTQ+ member isn't about being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, etc, it's about community and having the freedom to express who you really are. Coming out was one of the most stress relieving and greatest things I have ever done in my life which I am delighted to have finally done.

I can finally be who I am and I am finally happy. 

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!! 

*Supports / Helpful Links*

LGBT Ireland

Website: https://lgbt.ie/

Number: 1800 929 539

Belong To

Website: https://www.belongto.org/

Number: 01 670 6223

National Gender Service Ireland

Website: https://nationalgenderserviceireland.com/

Number: 01 211 5045 

GenderEd

Website: https://www.gendered.ie/

Number: 01 873 3575

Transgender Equality Network Ireland

Website: https://teni.ie/supports/

Number: 01 873 3575

My OCD Experience

Especially for those who have or had OCD

Many of us have experience with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) but what is it? According to OCD Ireland, OCD is a condition where people experience "repetitive and upsetting thoughts and behaviors". I've written before about my "Mental Health Journey" but for Mental Health Awareness Month 2020 I wanted to go more in-depth about what OCD Means and my experience with it.

How it happens

OCD is made up of two things, Obsessions, and Compulsions. While it is not fully understood how OCD is caused there are several theories. One of which that I would relate to most would be that "compulsions are learned behaviors which become repetitive and habitual when they are associated with relief from anxiety".

How it happened to me

At the age of 10 when I had fears of the end of the world, I would resort to telling myself that if I did this small thing then the world won't end. They started off simple at the small and infrequent at the start, but whenever I would hear anything about the end of the world, the frequency would rise along with the type of ritual itself.

However, when the upsetting thought change from "the end of the world" to "going to Hell" it was taken to a whole new level. Now at the age of 12, I was now feeding my OCD every day with intense compulsions that family friends, and teachers were starting to notice. I felt so alone.

Eventually, I got to the point where I realised that things were getting out of control and I had to stop. So, one day I said I'm just going to end this madness and forced myself to stop doing these rituals no matter how much I wanted to do them to ease my anxiety. This worked for a while but since I was only bottling it up, this wasn't going to work.

A year went by and the OCD had come back. This was perhaps the most difficult time in my life (at the time) as the OCD was worse than ever and I felt there was no end. Aged 13, the fear of Hell was at its strongest, it was a tough rollercoaster of a year before I once again built up the courage to tell myself enough was enough and for the second time in my life, I had been freed from my OCD.

Something I haven't mentioned is that a lot of the time with my OCD I would do my rituals in threes. Coincidentally it seems my OCD nightmare came back for a third time to disrupt my life but now it had taken something from me. At the age of 17, I no longer felt like I could do what could make me happy which was my working on film projects and most upsetting of all, my rowing.

I began to do more rituals, which included

Eye Routines

Blinking routines

Avoid using my laptop

Not talking about how I felt

Avoiding eating (unless made to)

Avoiding drinking (unless made to)

Avoided changing the channel on the TV

Looking at things a certain amount of times
etc

This video of me was taken in 2017 and shows me doing a ritual

As I couldn't hide as to why I left the rowing club anymore so I finally had to explain to my Mum what was going on. It was a big relief to have finally have told someone and it worked out for the better as I now was going to start going to CBT to help me. I had no idea what OCD was until my CBT therapist explained it to me. I finally thought that I wasn't alone.

It's been two years and I am happy to say I am back working on new film projects and will soon be going back to the rowing club this summer when the season starts back again. Most of my OCD took place between the age of 10 to 18 but I am thankful that I am now on the other side of it all and happy to have my life back.

References, and Information from the following websites

OCD Ireland Website

https://www.ocdireland.org/

Better Health Channel

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/

*Supports / Helpful Links*

If you or someone you know are struggling, here are some helpline contacts below

{Speak up, there's always a set of ears somewhere ready to hear you out}

Text About It
Website: https://text50808.ie/
Number: Text "Help" to 50808

Pieta House
Website: https://www.pieta.ie/
Number: 1800 247 247

Samaritans
Website: https://www.samaritans.org/ireland/samaritans-ireland/
Number: 116 123

OR CALL 999 IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

Covid 19

Especially for those who are concerned in these troubled times

We are in dark times, we are in strange times, we are in uncertain times. On the 12th of March 2020, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar made an announcement that all educational services along with childcare facilities were to shut as a result of the Coronavirus outbreak. At the time of writing, it has been 3 weeks since the announcement and only more businesses have begun to shut. 

Why is this happening?

Usually in the news you hear of something for a few days then it's not reported anymore but in this pandemic, there's no let-up. It originated in China, then spread through Europe, and now has found itself in Ireland. But how did this happen? 

It is believed that the virus originated in Wuhan China where it was passed onto humans through infected animals used for food and medicine, bats and snakes are the possible culprits. The first record of this was in December but it wasn't announced as a global pandemic until March 11th.

There are some theories out there as to why this is happening which are just entertaining to think people believe these are true. Some of which have been initiated by Trump's cabinet where his Bible teacher has said Gays have caused "God's wrath". Trump's cabinet has also pinned the blame on Environmentalists, but all these accusations are just pure nonsense.

The situation we are in

In Ireland alone, unemployment has risen significantly, exam students such as Leaving Cert face uncertainty as their exam dates draw nearer, and mental health services have been shut leaving people in the dangerous position of being along with their intrusive thoughts.

All of our mental health is at threat of being consumed by unclear and pessimistic questions. What if I get it? What if Someone I care about gets it? When will it all end? What's scariest about these questions is that the answer to all of them is uncertain. 

So what can we do?

We can do our bit by keeping up social distancing by staying at least 2 meters away from each other with no physical contact, staying at home where possible, and avoiding social gatherings. Hygiene is also a must. We have to remember to wash our hands frequently, wear gloves where necessary as well as cover our coughs and sneezes. 

We must also try and do our bit to help people in need even if it's just collecting some shopping for an elderly relative or neighbor and leaving it at the door or checking up on a friend whos concerned by sending them a text.

Staying Positive

If you were to think about everything this virus has done, you might also see some good in all the bad. We have seen people come together. Remembering on St Patrick's day when parades were canceled and people took to the streets and brought the parade to the people so their neighbors didn't have to leave their homes. 

However, if you are worried about all that's going on the best advice I can give you is to try and stay as busy as you can at home. Have a movie night, call a friend, read a positive article, relive a piece of your childhood, start a home workout, bake something, do some mindful colouring the list goes on and on.

Also, we mustn't forget to be thankful to the people still working to keep things going. The people in retail who stack shelves or work on tills, volunteers who are going around local areas to help others and we can not forget to thank our healthcare workers who are on the front line, putting themselves at risk to ensure the welfare of others.

True, we are in dark, strange, uncertain times, but if you were to break it down and think about it, it's nothing we haven't lived through before. Mankind has overcome the plague, famines and two World Wars, we will overcome this too. But if there is anything we should learn from all this it is no matter how superior you think you are, you are still at risk like everyone else thus, proving, that we are all equal.

Dubai 2019

Especially for those who love to travel

My sister Emma has been teaching in Dubai since August 2015 coming home to visit at Christmas and Summer. However, with Dubai being the luxurious city that it is we knew we'd have to visit while she was there and get the tour. after putting it off for so long my parents and I decided to go the first week of March 2019.

Day 1

After the 8 hour flight, we landed in Dubai and were greeted by Emma. We landed at around 1am and stayed up chatting till around 4am as we were just on a high. When we woke up later in the morning we went to Dubai Mall. They have pretty much everything there from shops to restaurants and even a zoo.

In the evening we just had to walk outside the mall and there stood the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. We stayed however to watch the amazing Dubai Water Show which contains fantastic lights, sounds and of course water. It was the perfect end to the perfect day.

Day 2

Another busy day where we started off by going to the Sharjah Rain Room. This is literally a room that rains inside. The sensors detect your body and stop it from raining directly over you but still rains around you in the rest of the area.

We then set off to Global Village. With an array of scenes from all over the World, Global Village is part theme part and part market. You can literally travel the world in a few fun-filled hours. Our next stop was Dubai Glow Gardens which is the largest glow in the dark garden and an amazing scene full of magical exhibits.

Day 3

On this day we traveled further into Dubai to see the show, La Perle. An incredible experience full of acting, acrobatics, aquatic and aerial stunts. When the show finished we took a cab to the Burj Al Arab, a uniquely constructed building, which happens to be one of the tallest hotels in the world. We sat at an Irish bar, McGettigan's, in view of the stunning masterpiece. 

Day 4

While still in this area, as a surprise to me, we went to Legoland and MotionGate Dubai. Legoland is full of interesting Lego sculptures and rides, fun for the whole family. MotionGate coexists alongside and consists of Sony Pictures Studios along with Dreamwork studios with even more impressive displays.

To finish the evening we went to perhaps my favorite restaurant of the whole trip, The Cheesecake Factory. The food was delicious and the service was applaudable. We decided we'd go to the beach for a walk but were told that women weren't allowed to swim there. It just goes to show while Dubai is advanced in so many ways, there are still years behind in things like women's rights.

Day 5

We headed back to the apartment and at this point, we began to grow tired due to all we were doing and the 4 hour time difference. We had a very lazy day watching The Big Bang Theory and Ru Paul's Drag Race for most of the day. Once we got out of the apartment we went for dinner at Chili's and went to the cinema to see the live-action Dumbo. 

Day 6

On our last day in Dubai we went for a walk along Dubai's coast and took it easy. In the evening we headed to The Irish Village for dinner and a few drinks. There was a great buzz around the place with live music and its friendly atmosphere. A little reminder of where we came from before we headed home.

Dubai is just a whole other world with a completely different lifestyle. This was a once in a lifetime trip and I am delighted to have had the opportunity to experience it.

Autism in Fantastic Beasts

Especially for those who like seeing Autism normalised in television

The Harry Potter movies are some of my favourite films of all time, I especially love the spin-off films of  Fantastic Beasts set in the same Wizarding World debuting in 2016. The overall storyline is based on the defeat of Grindelwald with many challenges on the way. However, I feel this movie series has a hidden theme that is aimed at a certain audience, showing the life of someone living with Autism.

These films introduced Newt Scamander to the movie screen who is a magizoologist and the author of "Fantastic Beast and where to find them" in said movies. Newt is one of the main characters in the series and has many traits that lead me to believe he is on the spectrum.   

One of the biggest indicators would be his eye contact. Newt Has very poor eye contact with people and can often be seen looking at the ground or at someone's shoulder. This is a common trait in people with autism as it stems from many of their social anxieties or hatred toward eye contact.

Something that people may not have noticed is that Newt Scamander has a big fixation on animals. From a young age, Newt has always been obsessed with magical creatures such as his beloved Niffler or Bowtruckle. Another trait of someone on the spectrum would be fixations and obsessions like these on certain things. 

In an interview with Digital Spy, Eddie Redmayne who plays Newt Scamander believes that the character he plays is autistic. He says that Newt has certain qualities such as his eye contact and the way he walks that he had discussed with J.K Rowling prior to filming the first film, which leads him to believe he has Aspergers in the actor's opinion.

At the time of writing this blog, only the first two Fantastic Beasts are released and are set in the 1920s when Autism hadn't really been studied so it is uncertain whether or not it will be mentioned in the next few movies. However, since autism started to come to people's attention in the early 1940s and the last Fantastic Beast movie is rumored to be based in 1945, it's still a possibility. 

Newt Scamander is my absolute favourite character in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter as I love his personality and I find him relatable. Being diagnosed myself, I am delighted to see that my favorite character has traits of autism too. It may have been something that many people would have missed and it just goes to show you never know who may have autism.