Especially for those who suffer and feel there is no end
For those who don't know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This blog has gone through many changes since I first planned it. It started off with a lot of hate toward people and services, then I thought I watered it down too much, then I decided to scrap it altogether, but while stepping back for a bit I decided amongst a nice middle ground. This is a mental health blog and while I could go on and on about flaws in the systems, treatment from others, and so forth, I believe it is best to keep this post as calm as possible as the overall goal of the blog is to influence and encourage positive mental health awareness
Background
A summary of my mental health experience can be seen in other dedicated blogs but briefly sum it up I have a long history of Anxiety, Depression, and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) The most significant thing about OCD in my opinion is that there is no logic behind a lot of it. I used to think I would go to hell for rowing because of a funny few dreams, explain that to me.
Counseling
I have been going to some kind of counseling since 2012 from Play Therapy to CAMHS (Child and Adolescents Mental Health Services) to the Adult Mental Health Services with a few private counselors along the line, even a few sessions with Pieta House.
Sometimes it takes time to find the right person for help. One counselor would tell me to write down three good things that happened to me that day, in that case, I would wonder how does that help me go rowing with the fear of hell in my mind. Another time I went to someone and on only my second session I called an end to that one after I came out crying with more guilt he had pilled on top of me. Regardless you just have to keep looking for the person that's right for you
The first session is always the worst, you have to tell your whole story, what’s wrong, why you’re there Etc. But once you break through that wall of dread, you see the horizon on which you can build a relationship of trust, confidence, and hope. I would highly recommend counseling for anyone struggling with anything. It doesn't matter how big or small a situation is there is always someone there to listen and aid you.
On a side note, there will be many people out there who take medications for anxiety, depression, etc that is nothing to be ashamed of. Some people need medications to function, others won't, there is nothing wrong with that.
Explanations & Excusses
This is referring more to why some people treat other people in a bad way but I feel it is important to mention none the less.
There is a world of difference between “Explanations” and “Excuses” and I am going to be quite blunt, someone who grew up in a toxic household, for example, gives the explanation of why they treat people that way, but it’s not nor is it ever an excuse to torment others
Speaking as someone who was bullied quite a lot as a child I often was told that the bullies “must have problems themselves” Though this comment is often used and may well be the case in many cases, I often thought “Well if they are hurting then how do they not understand that they are getting and receiving is being passed on to someone else?”
Suicidal Thoughts
First off, suicide is an awful tragedy, it’s a saddening fact that people who take their own life feels that there is no other alternative than this final solution.
What I hate, and I mean absolutely hate, are these moronic people who think that Suicide Victims are “selfish” “attention seeking” or worst of all “cowards”. Let me tell you, there is no more challenging discussion in life than to permanently leave this world.
Yes, we all know the sayings. “your only passing on the pain” and “It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem” I believe these are toxic things to say to people even if meant in a none spitful way because all these comments are doing are adding guilt and no solution.
For the record, no one who ends their life wants to end their life. They do it because they want the pain to go away, they may have tried every avenue and not have had any luck, or they may have been struck with a massive blow that could not come to terms with.
For those who have or are considering taking their own lives, yes your parents will be sad, and those who neglected or mistreated you, be they a friend, a partner, or whoever might never realise how much they've hurt you, but at the end of the day, it's not about them, it's about you and your life, it's your journey. Life is hard, life is brutal, but I personally believe for all the dark and evil in the world I think there's just as much, if not more good out there somewhere.
Every day you get up and face the world you are brave. You might not feel it, but the thing about bravery is that it's not about being fearless, it is what you do, regardless of that fear, and this doesn't just go with fear but also trauma, depression, grief, etc. There will be obstacles in life that you won't be able to move on from, but you can carry on!
Making the Most of Life
To make the most of life there is no real one true answer. Personally routine and structure keeps me in good Mental Health. I Work, I try to discipline myself to go to the Gym, and currently, I am doing my driving lessons so I can get my license. For general entertainment, I mostly work on projects for my Animation / Film page, Quirky Productions along with writing short stories and blogs. Then to relax I might play some PlayStation, read a little, or simply watch a movie or a series.
Obviously, this is different for every person, this is just what works for me. My advice would be to go try something new, do something you've always wanted to do but you thought or were told "You're not able", "your too old", "It's not for you" or whatever else some idiot had said to discourage you. There's something good waiting for everyone somewhere in this world, go seek it!
Helping Others
For those people who know people with Mental Health issues and would like to help but don't know how, that's understandable. Mental Health in general isn't as openly spoken in the same as physical injuries for example, some people will find it tough to talk about what bothers them and others will be afraid to bring it up for fear of saying the wrong thing to said person. The biggest solution to this is letting them know you are truly there for them.
Sometimes a simple gesture can mean more than you can imagine. I remember for my 21st one of my friends gave me a gay pride shot glass and chain, something that meant something personal to me. To me, that was worth more than if she had given me €100. Take a friend for dinner, buy them a box of chocolates, treat them to a coffee and even chat about good things past, present, or future. Sometimes bringing a smile or a laugh to someone can mean more than you will ever know.
I know a lot of people don't like to bring up mental health issues to someone struggling for fear of saying the wrong thing, but in my opinion, saying something is better than saying nothing.
Conclusion
Some days in life are worse than others. For me, 2022 will not be a year I look back on with fondness, and could quite easily be one of the most testing years of my life which is why I honestly struggled to think of what to say for this blog.
As many people know, I like trains, so If you were to picture life as a railway, you would begin your journey at one station often passing others, sometimes collecting or dropping off people with you. There will be hills to climb, and the odd derailment to bear. You may probably find yourself in the darkest of tunnels and sometimes you can even get stuck there, but there will always be a recovery crew, to come to your aid, and you will reach the light at the end of the tunnel. In the end, we will reach our final destination and all we can do in the end is trust in ourselves that we can honestly say “I enjoyed the journey” knowing we did everything humanly possible to make it so.
We are all just “passing through” this world, all given one life to live, not a life to end ourselves or patiently wait for death, but to live. The world belongs to you as much as the next person so don’t give it up. Eventually, death will come to us all, someday, but not today, and when that day does come, I hope to greet it as a friend, knowing I have done everything in my power to live my best life, a happy life, until the very end!
You may be worn and weary, you are not worthless. You may be battered and bruised, you are not broken.
Every shadow will Pass, Every day will Dawn.
*Supports / Helpful Links*
If you or someone you know are struggling, here are some helpline contacts below
{Speak up, there's always a set of ears somewhere ready to hear you out}
Pieta House
Website: https://www.pieta.ie/
Number: 1800 247 247
Samaritans
Website: https://www.samaritans.org/ireland/samaritans-ireland/
Number: 116 123
OR CALL 999 IN CASE OF EMERGENCY